Things you don't know about men

1.       Don’t leave him hanging

There’s nothing worse than a drawn out breakup. Once you’ve decided, be swift, making sure you tell him with certainty that it’s over, not spending weeks using the trusted ‘I don’t feel happy’/I’ll be really mean to you routine until he does it first.

2.       Never feel sorry for him

Being dumped can end in one of three ways, 1) he accepts it’s the right thing to do, you hug and go your separate ways 2) he’s angry, bitter and cuts you out of his life immediately 3) he yelps like an injured puppy and begs for a second chance. Whichever reaction you encounter, never indulge in pity. Chests out (as always), heads high and a simple “I’m sorry but I’ve made my decision” as you walk away.

3.       Keep it real

It might feel easier to throw some hope into your dumping speech to lessen the pain, but never say “we’ll see how it goes” or “maybe we can give it another try in the future” if you don’t mean it. He will cling onto it.

4.       Avoid dumping in public

As with all good plans, often your rehearsed ‘I’m ditching you’ scenario doesn’t play out as you’d hoped. You chicken out, he does something sweet just as you’re about to deliver the news etc. The result often means blurting it out (usually drunk) at an inappropriate event or moment. So if you can, avoid doing it in public (to save red faces all round) and go somewhere neutral where you can both walk away.

5.       Set the rules

There will be no phoning, no texting, I’ve already unfriended you, my email address is blocked. You get the picture.