Catching the man of your dreams

You have been obsessed with this dream guy for a while now, and would like to get into active pursuit, but you don’t know what his reaction will be. 

You’re worried that he may laugh at you, or perhaps he’ll simply start avoiding you like the plague if you try coming on to him.

What you want is a way to let him know how you feel without making yourself look like a complete idiot, so that you retain your dignity if the feeling isn’t mutual. We’ve got some hints to help you on your way.

1. Give him a “knowing look”

Eyes are the “windows to the soul” and so your eyes may well be a quiet yet powerful weapon for sending your message to him. In the “meeting someone” scenario, when your eyes stay on someone more than a few seconds, the message is “I see you, I like you, let me into your life.”

Unfortunately, not all eye contact achieves the desired effect, so your signals must be just right. Try this: give him a quick look but avoid staring at him, and then slowly transform your “accidental” glimpse into a good up-and-down look, from his eyebrows to the chin and back into his eyes at the end.

Look into his eyes every now and then or even give him one of your best playful smiles. Then continue to “scan” his face for a few seconds every time. He’ll soon realise that you are watching him without feeling that you are blatantly gawping at him. This is an excellent method for the most shy of girls to get her message across, and if the interest is mutual, you should find him by your side pretty soon.

2. Whispering sweet somethings…

You’ve got up the guts to strike up a conversation, but you want to make your first contact a little more intimate than “Wanna dance?” It’s simple; just make your voice a little softer and lower than usual so that your boy will have to lean in close to hear what you’re saying (A great opportunity to let him get a whiff of your sexy perfume).

Another little trick: use his name when you talk to him. For example, don’t just ask, “Have you been to the cinema lately?” Try something like, “So James, what’s the last movie you’ve seen?” Adding his name to your question will help make him realise that you are quite interested in him.

When talking to him, give your man a small hint to show that you pay attention to his personal life, such as, if you know he has a dog, you can say “Hey, I think I saw you last Saturday walking your dog, what’s its name?” Of course you shouldn’t get carried away with his minute life details, otherwise he may well think that you’re obsessing about him and spying out front of his house everyday!

3. A fleeting touch could do the trick

Nothing like a little skin-on-skin to let him know that you want him, but before taking any action, you should know it may be tricky. You don’t want to bowl him over, or aggress him with your hipbone: what you’re after here is a fleeting, subtle non-verbal cue to show that you want to get physically closer to him.

You could start with touching his things; for example, pick up his cell phone to ask him the features or something interesting in the phone. Little by little, you’ll get access into his private space and then you can dare to ‘accidentally touch hands’ a couple of times, for instance.

You don’t have to fully expose your feelings, like grabbing his hand or putting an arm around his shoulder, just make him aware of your close physical presence… Even the most dull-witted guy will get the message. You just need to pay attention to his body language. If he visibly backs off or abruptly pulls his hand away, your love could unfortunately end up unrequited.

4. Build a mysterious online persona

If you are in contact with your dream man online, you may start out a little bit serious, and then quickly make it more relaxed and even a little flirty, without getting cheap. If he’s giving you positive responses, then you could give him a leading invitation, such as “I’m going to a party, but don’t want to go alone or I need a partner, would you go with me?”

Don’t write like it’s a novel, or make your words too long, and no matter how desperately you want to meet up with him, try to remain cool and mysterious to keep his curiosity alive, so that he just HAS to know more about you. He can’t see you, so you don’t have to worry about neck to nose blushing – be a bit daring and see if he takes the bait.

That being said, if he doesn’t reply in a positive way, just hit the bye-bye button and move on. No use flogging a dead horse. There are plenty more fish in the cyber-sea but you’ll need to get cracking if you want to catch one!

Fang Liu